Category: health

It has been really hard to trust anybody, ever since Ghost Cow betrayed me during a rally for the Auto King. That was six months ago now, but I don’t think I’ll ever truly recover. Ghost Car has stayed by my side ever since, helping nurse me back to full health, but unfortunately, a lot of the damage is mental, and spiritual, seeing as I am a ghost.

At first, I had to go through extensive physiotherapy just to be able to walk again, aided by a medical professional who is an expert in that field. It’s just a shame that I can’t remember what kind of doctor works in the field of physiotherapy. Anyway, after that, I was able to walk, although weakly. Ever since, I’ve been slowly getting my strength back.

Hyperbaric oxygen therapy near Melbourne has been helping with that. I was sceptical at first, but it’s actually been amazing in helping with my recovery. I was going to the hyperbaric clinic at first, but then I found out that you can actually get portable hyperbaric chambers. That changed everything, as I’ve been able to recover from home. I actually spend most of my time in the hyperbaric chamber, as it helps keep me calm.

I think using a hyperbaric chamber is something everyone should try at least once. Because of them, I think I’m almost strong enough to face the real world again. Ghost Car and I need to find out where Ghost Cow has gone and bring him to justice. We trusted him, more than anyone else, and he stabbed me in the back for it. Literally. That’s not okay.

I intend to find out why he betrayed us, firstly. And then I’m going to make sure he can never do that again to anyone else. I don’t know what Ghost Cow is planning, but we need to stop him, whatever it takes.

 

– Ghost Driver

Wow, children sure have a lot going on. Is this a new thing? Maybe my memory is just fuzzy about my own childhood, but I remember mostly just living through the whole thing without incident. Like, maybe I pulled a girl’s hair once? There was a sports day at some stage, because I lost the egg and spoon race and I threw the egg at the boy who won and he got egg all over his face. That was a good day.

Otherwise, I got nothing much of anything. And then I babysit my niece and it’s like wow, cylinders. Cylinders firing. She has way more going on than me. The last thing her Mum said was asking me to head around the corner after school so we could get some children’s orthotics fitted in Cheltenham. Wasn’t sure I heard that correctly, but yeah. Lydia does indeed need orthotics, for children, because she’s on the school sprinting team at the age of seven. They train three times a week, which is good because she goes to an advanced maths class on Tuesdays and Thursdays and we’d hate for anything to clash.

At the age of seven. Professionally-fitted orthotics, from a reputable podiatrist; just thought I’d make that very clear. At first I thought this was one of those proud parent things. You know, with the parents thinking their child was a little prodigy and pushing them into all this stuff, and the child goes along with it because their Mum said so or whatever. But Min and Rob are so chilled, and when I asked they said that Lydia chose all this stuff by herself.

In fact, the whole reason she needs custom orthotics fitted in a Cheltenham clinic is because she goes out to the field behind the house every day to train and her shoes were getting old. So…children are now bionic little androids with infinite energy and drive. Truly, the new generation will be surpassing this one. Suppose that’s fine.

It’s true that most people don’t like needles, which has always seemed strange to me, because I love them. Gosh, there’s nothing that makes you feel alive quite like getting an essential vaccination, or anaesthetic to dull the pain. Needles are fun and exciting, and I simply can’t wait until my next visit to the doctor so I can get more of them. Sometimes I just go along and get vaccinated against illnesses that only exist in other countries, to which I have no plans of travelling. Hey, if it’s not bad for you, why not? Best to be careful!

So when I heard that there was a scheduled dry needling course in Christchurch, this was like a dream come true for me. I did my research on the google, of course, and it looks like this dry needling craze is totally legitimate. Supposedly it helps with muscle pain, or…some such. But I instantly volunteered to be a test dummy for the course, because what’s better than one needle that just goes in and out? Needles everywhere, that are left in because trigger points or some such.

Actually, there’s an ulterior motive behind all this. After all, I know so much about needles at this point that becoming a professional needler just seems like the most obvious career choice. I can go along to the dry needling course as a needling subject, and if the practice seems like something I could do for a living, I’ll take the course myself. Not only is it an opportunity to get stuck with needles for relaxation, medicinal benefits AND education, but if I do decide to take the course, I’ll have a leg-up on all the rest.

It’s sweeping the nation, after all. They have dry needling courses in Auckland, Sydney, Melbourne…I can pretty much take my pick of where I want to go. A versatile career, something a bit of-kilter…and needles. It’s like it was made for me.

-Neil