Black-Viper Glass

You know, I bet my ancestors never expected the Black-Viper line to end up in a shop for glass replacement. We’re a proud family, dating all the way back to the 1400s, when my many times’ great grandfather created the name, after accidentally slaying the King of England. That put his father as king, meaning I am directly descended from royalty. The original Eddy Black-Viper tried to usurp his father many times, without any success, something only talked about in his diary, passed down through the generations.

What would Eddy Black-Viper the First think of me, knowing someone who runs Melbourne’s best glass replacement shop? Would he be proud, or would he be ashamed that I’m not coming up with cunning plans to overthrow the local ruler and take his place? I like to think he’d be proud of the success his line has achieved, even if it isn’t political. 

Certainly, I think Eddy Black-Viper II would be proud of me. He was a hard-working Lord of the British Court, under Queen Elizabeth the First. I know that it’s a far way from lord to the glazier, but Black-Viper II was highly respected in his time. In fact, if he and the queen hadn’t been horribly slain by a master of disguise, they might have become married. I suppose if that was the case, then I probably wouldn’t know someone who fixes glass balustrades around Melbourne, so I guess I should be glad. 

Eddy Black-Viper III was a butler to Prince George of Wales, son of King George III. Few people know this, but Black-Viper III actually took George’s place after his untimely demise, becoming King George IV. That’s right, my ancestor was actually a British king. How his descendants ended up as a captain in World War II and a glass glazier remains a mystery. Just to think, I have two ancestors who came so close to taking the throne of England, and one who succeeded. How did I end up here? But alas, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

– Edward Black-Viper V